decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it

skinny shoes

happy birthday singapore

this week felt a lot like coming full circle. after so long i know i am finally in a good place, liking work and soaking up every minute of the day. i have never written about it here, but i was hired to work in autism research at my university on a couple projects full-time (as a stepping stone to a spot at graduate school? another question mark). on a good day, i conduct psychological assessments, run focus groups with parents of children with autism, and on slower days I try very hard to convert qualitative data into numbers and codes in little excel cells — the start of the long road to publishing in a scientific journal. however, because one project has yet to start, half my week is completely my own.

jules sews

what i did with my half of the week: watched the national day parade, pitched in with set and costumes for the SMU law musical (sam is director/writer/composer/lyricist!), deciphered dots and notches on a dress pattern i am trying out, visited a master tailor with white hair and canto-peppered speech for a live demonstration on how fit and flair is molded into shape, and how it can be destroyed with something as simple as a misplaced buttonhole.

deciphering grainlines

yesterday i told my mother that i was angry with myself for putting writing and learning to sew on hold for most of my teenage years, despite knowing very early on that my happy places existed in front of words and behind a gently whirring sewing machine. was it because these skills did not have enough potential cca-record value, or because i did not dare? then again, all of that is irrelevant now and completely overshadowed by the gratitude and joy of having these passions in my life again and here to stay. i will not have this same flexible-schedule, part-time luxury forever, but the best of times is now….so live and love as hard as you know how!!

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